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Road of the dead hack11/11/2022 ![]() ![]() But let's forget that fact for the moment, and just understand there are rules that govern zombie fiction at large. However, the whole point of the Land of the Dead movie is that the zombies are slowly evolving into a more organized society of the undead. Stupid zombies? How is that even possible? Zombies are, after all, lumbering dimwits by nature, driven purely by the instinct to feed and with no real form of intelligence. But before you can get there, you'll have to travel through a slew of horrendous-looking environments, navigate terrible level designs, and shoot a never-ending army of the stupidest zombies you will ever encounter. Wondering where the film tie-in comes into play? Well you do eventually find yourself in the guarded city of the scant few living humans remaining on the planet, which is featured prominently in the movie. He takes off to a neighbor's property, by way of a completely insane haystack maze and a badly textured cornfield, only to find-yes, you guessed it-more zombies! Perhaps you can see where all this is going. Clearly panic-stricken, Jack then finds himself neck-deep in zombie action, with mildly threatening corpses flocking onto his meager farm. ![]() When this stranger turns out to be a brain-hungry zombie, Jack is sent fleeing around his property, looking for guns, ammunition, and, of all things, his keys. The protagonist of this hapless zombie tale is Jack, a regular country bumpkin thrust into the role of zombie vanquisher extraordinaire when a slightly ripe-looking stranger happens upon his doorstep. Apparently someone forgot to clue in the developers of Land of the Dead to these key facts. The ethos of zombie culture dictates that zombies should roll deep, and violently attack and eat living people with reckless abandon. This is either one of the most avant-garde pieces of gaming artistry to ever find its way to the retail market, or the absolute worst game of the year. And the only thing going through its figurative mind is the unquenchable instinct to attack and feed on your free time and money. It shuffles along at a sluggish, depressing pace while pieces of it literally fall apart at the seams. Every component of this game is slow to react, dumb as a doornail, and basically broken. It feels like it was once a regular, workaday, full-featured Xbox game that was horribly murdered by zombies, and then resurrected into a shambled, decrepit, undead version of its former self. It's almost as though the developers wanted to capture the essence of the zombie through each and every aspect of the game. Loosely based within the same universe as zombie pioneer George Romero's Land of the Dead film from earlier this year, Road to Fiddler's Green isn't just content to be another completely unplayable movie-to-game translation. There is an almost pseudo-brilliance to the sheer awfulness of Land of the Dead: Road to Fiddler's Green. ![]()
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